Wanting To Change

For me, the greatest catalyst for change was when I was so down in a hole that I wasn’t even sure which direction was up. I need to be red/ puffy eyed from crying, pacing my apartment, running for miles and miles to burn off the excess energy. Eventually, I would have to tell everyone in my life what was going on in mine and sample their responses. I loved learning from others what were my possible options. As I got older and possibly wiser, I would start reading books, forums, blogs and start to make my own paths; accumulating data and formulas to a more grateful and happy life.
But at the end of the day, it was only my action that could change me. And it is only when I surrendered to my situation, that I could really change my emotions. So what does that tell you?

I was raised in a home where my mother didn’t think I was her greatest priority, that my education was second to her personal life; that the bottle always came first. I learned how it was to put myself through college with a horrible husband that also drank too much, and couldn’t spell monogamous let alone try it. After bursting out of that prison of the mind, I finally found true love and moved to another continent- as far from my past as I could get. I immersed myself in a culture that was completely opposite to the one in which I was raised. In that critical juncture, I had to really figure out who I was, and what made me happy. The world was my oyster, but I just had to choose a direction and stop being immobilized by fear and uncertainty. I ran right into a catastrophic break up that decimated my life. Again, into the fire to emerge again a phoenix- a digital nomad with passion and fire and creativity that needed to be born into this world.

This book is a running narrative of what I learned and had to overcome. Because of my experiences of losing friends and not staying in touch, I was the one that needed the book. I was the one that needed to change.

I hope that this book gives you the tools and empowerment to make the changes you need.

Deanna Marie